Moving on #10

We decided to start looking for a house, this apartment was too small, it only had two rooms and a bath. The bathroom only had a shower and sometimes I like to take a bath, it is so relaxing. , and besides our landlord comes in when we're not home. What we did to see for sure is stick a piece of paper in the door, where he can't see it. Sure enough we came home and the paper was on the floor, he doesn't take anything but I don't like him snooping in my things. It only took two weeks to find a house, it was just a little way out of town.

We both were still working at this time and I was expecting our first baby, the baby was due some time in September. I was given a shower by Wayne s mom and my mom, I was excited because I was new at this. My mom does not drink any more, she has cancer, the doctor told her to give up drinking and cigarettes, she choose to keep smoking.

Wayne was laid off from work right after we moved in, I was really worried that we would loose the house, so I would have to keep working. I was hoping he would find work because I wanted to be home with the baby. I had a normal pregnancy, no problems and I worked up to the time I went into the hospital and Wayne had found another job. I was glad I took a class in motherhood and they taught us what to do when we went into labor at the hospital. I called Wayne s work and he came home, we arrived at the hospital at 4:30 am and I had Doug the next afternoon at 2:30pm, boy I was glad that it was over. My son weighed 9 lbs. 7 1/2 oz and was 20 1/2 inches long. He was born with a congenial birth defect, his left ear did not form properly and there was no ear canal. To me he was made from our love, perfect in all ways and so beautiful.

We almost lost Doug, when he was two and a half months old, he almost suffocated, the name for it now is "SIDS". We were over to Waynes moms playing cards and I had put Doug on the bed for a nap. We checked him often, but I went in for the last time, I picked him up and turned him over, he went double in my hands, we called the ambulance, no 911 then. Wayne s mom took him from me, I was hysterical, his mom was a nurse, thank the Lord, she helped save his life and at this time Doug was splotchy blue.

At the hospital they put him in a oxygen tent, we stayed for hours with him, praying and crying. Doug had a habit of sucking two of his fingers, only once in a while, so when he began to suck them I knew he was going to make it. We had gotten his picture taken at the studio and did not want to pick them up if he did not make it, so next day we went to pick them up. This happened two weeks before Christmas, so again we did not put the tree up until he came home. His crib went into our room for a couple months. We were thankful that he had come out of this without any problems, especially without breathing for a period of time, maybe this is why he is such a smart kid.

This was one tradgey in this house, the second one happened to our neighbor boy, Chuckie, it was the next summer. He had just started high school, he was so looking forward to it. When we first met the neighbors, right after moving in, we liked them. Chuckie was their only child, his brother died of lukemia at five years old. Lucy, their mother, had adopted another boy, Eddie and a little girl. Chuckies mom said he had just come home from school and was sitting at the table having a snack. The plumbers, outside were drilling for a new well and yelled in the window and ask if Chuckie could give them a hand. I wish his mom would of said no and this would not of happened. They wanted Chuckie to hold a very long pipe and guide it into the caseing below ground, one other man was on the lawn holding it also. All of a sudden the two were thrown into the hole, because the pipe had hit the high tension lines, electricity ran down the pipe and came out Chuckie in three places, the other man only received burns. Chuckie had died instantly, the plumbers went crazy trying to revive him, to no avail. I had seen it all, because I heard the men working and went to see what was going on, I saw them holding the pipe and guiding it into the hole, when all of a sudden both of them went flying into the hole, I did not know what was going on. I wish I would of went home and not seen them bring Chuckie out of the hole, I did not know how much I had liked him until then.

His mom had been next door out of sight of her house, they called to her to come quick, the tone they used brought her running. They told her what had happened, she fell across Chuckie begging him to wake up and one man had to pull her up off him. Now all she had left was her two adopted children, she became very depressed after this, I felt sorry for them. We sold the house and moved back into town, too many sad memories in this house.

The Wedding #9

Sandy told me Waynes mom wanted Wayne to get back with Jolene, she had nothing against me, but thought Wayne should patch up his marriage, I did not like hearing this one bit. His mom always treated me nice when I was over there, I found out many years later that his mom and Jolene were writing to each other, and his mom told her all of our plans and other business. Waynes mom knew he wanted to know what was happening to his kids, even though she knew she kept it a secret, not even telling us Jolene had remarried. Years later when Tonda and Terry came to see us, Tonda told her dad that her step-dad was molesting her, her mom would not believe her. Tonda would put furniture in front of her bedroom door at night, to keep him out, Terry never knew this was going on. Wayne was so mad when he heard this he wanted to fly out there and punch his lights out.

This problem plagued her through the years and it showed in her marriages, three of them, all ended in divorce, and three children. She never went for counciling, and to this day, when she calls her dad she is very depressed. My husband does not like it because Terry took his step-dads last name of Lockwood, he never signed papers to this effect, and this bothers him to this day. Tonda never said if she went by Lockwood in school, but she has everything Cloud now, after what her step-dad did she hated the name Lockwood. Her step-dad had six kids of his own, they lived with him and Tonda said she was never treated right, although Terry said they were good to him.

I guess I was too use to being on my own, after about four months I was starting not to like dating every night, it seemed like being married already. He was hurt when I told him this, I did not mean to hurt his feelings, but come on every night, we ran out of things to do. We tried, but he called a couple times a day and during work he would stop in, and my boss told me he could not hang around during work hours, this didn't stop him. Sometimes he would say after we were married that "I married him to get rid of him", what ever that meant.

We had a good time come summer, there were more things to do, and we started playing bad mitten a lot in my moms back yard. We hung out with my sister Stella and John, which she had started dating around the time I met Wayne. Sandy and Bill were fun to be with, we did have some wicked card games, especially poker, one night we played all night. My sister June and her husband Stan were okay, they were a little stuffy and did not like to do much. We also played cards with his mom and her boyfriend and his brother Tom, his wife Delores. We took turns going to each house on Friday night, Waynes mom was really a funny person, she told great stories, she was a nurse and they would spook each other in the halls at the hospital.

Our wedding date was finally set for July 30th, 1959, we were having Stella and John as Wayne put it our "Best People". There was not much planning because we were being married by the "Justice of the "Peace", we did not have money for a big wedding. I was very nervous, this was a big step for me, I know Wayne was nervous, he said later he thought I would back out before the ceremony. John and Stella took us to dinner at "The White Sands", I thought that was a nice name for a restaurant, after dinner and drinks they drove us home to our apartment. Our apartment had two windows that faced the street, the old woman that lived across the street always sat in her chair that faced us, we had a couch that pulled into a bed, so it was easy to see us in bed. With the excitement of tonight we forgot to close the curtains and I guess she really had a show. Next day we realized we had forgot the curtains,Wayne said she got what a snoop deserves, maybe we should go over and charge her.

My mom gave us a wedding reception on Saturday, we were married on a Thursday, she had invited a few friends and relatives to come, except Wayne's side of the family did not come, only Sandy and Bill, Sandy said her mom was mad, she did not want us to marry, even though she knew for months about it, after all I had an engagement ring on. My reception ended in us leaving early, mom had been drinking too much and picked a fight with Uncle Bud, it was so loud I think the neighbors heard it. I apologized to the guests and we left. I don't know what they were arguing about, but both were drinking, those two never got along anyway. I ended up crying all the way home, I left all the gifts behind, the way I was feeling, I told Wayne I didn't want any of them, deep down I knew I did. By the time I got home I had a real bad headache, I just laid down on the couch, I slept because when I awoke it was dark out and my headache was gone. I realized I had slept in my wedding dress, Wayne came over and held me for awhile, he knew about drinking, his dad was an alcholic and that was the reason his mom divorced him.

The Decision #8

I spent the next few days wondering what to do, my mom gave me lots of hugs, she told me she could not advise me what to do, she wanted to stay out of it. Even when I talked to my good friend Ruth, she said I would have to make up my mind and she said at this time he may still be very much in love with his wife. When I heard this I really did not have a clue of what to do, after all I just met the guy and we had two dates, a few kisses, I didn't know him at all. I just knew I was miserable, and I liked the way he hugged and kissed me, it made me feel warm and safe, not like any other date I had before this.

I knew I had to come to some decision, he was calling me all the time and so was his sister Sandy. I did ask her why she had not mention the divorce, she said Wayne wanted to be the one to tell me, Sandy also told me he was not in love with Jolene. She told me his wife was going out on him, she even brought her dates home and parked in the yard for him to see them. I have read and heard that love hurts and I sure was feeling it now.

I decided to talk to him about all this, even if I made a mistake I figured at this time in my life I probably could handle it, after all I survived my aunt. A person is sometimes their own worse enemy, thoughts go through your mind, you make up a situation you think is going to happen, at this point I did not know exactly what I was going to say to him, but I knew I wanted him in my life, no matter how long that would be. I called him up and we agreed to meet Friday night at seven, if this did not work out, I had all weekend to cry my eyes out.

I let him kiss and hug me, don't know why, just wanted to feel him close to me before I tried to make sense out of all this. I came right out and ask him if he was still in love with his wife, and he said no, but he did love his kids. He said she had hurt him down deep and the things she did against him and the children was unforgiving. I can't say what they were because this hurts even to this day, and when I read or see on TV the same things other mothers do to their kids, I think of Jolene. She took them home to her mom, this was 1958, and he never saw them until they got in touch with him in 1977. Too much time, heartaches trying to get them and the sheriff in her town actually wrote him a letter, Jolene asking him to, and told Wayne if he even tried to see the kids he would be thrown in jail. Laws back then granted her total custody of the kids, this broke Waynes heart, he loved those two children very much.

I felt so sorry for him, I just moved up to him and held him for quite a while. We decided to wait and see what might be, and take it one day at a time. Getting back to the dance, I did not know how to dance, he wanted me to come over to his house and he would try and teach me. This was hilarious, I have two left feet, we did decide on one dance step and stick to it, some how I learned a dance step. The dance was on Thanksgiving evening, the decorations were so pretty, we stayed until eleven, it was tiring because we danced all the dances, yes the same dance step. We drove to my house and talked and kissed for hours, we did not make love this night, we both wanted to but decided to wait a bit longer. I let him take my car home again and come tomorrow to go for a drive.

Happiness & Sadness #7

We went to the bowling alley and I thought Wayne would become bored but he seemed to fit in right away, the girl's really liked him and told me so. Bill and Sandy did not stay very long, I told them I would give him a ride home. We rode back to Ruth's with her and she invited us in , I told her it was too late, she understood. I let Wayne drive my car, he did not own a car, but he had a drivers license, because he drove truck for his company, this way I would know where to pick him up, if we dated again. We ended up talking until three in the morning, just telling one another about ourselves and the time flew by. He ask me if I wanted to go out Saturday, which was today, because we talked into Saturday, I said yes , I thought he would try and kiss me but he just said goodnight, got out and went into the house.

The next day he called and wanted to know if a movie and going for a snack after wards was okay, of course. I can't remember the name of the movie but afterwords we went to A & W drive in for a bite to eat, I loved their frosted root beer and hamburgers. We went for a drive out by the lake and parked, he ask if I minded if he kissed me, of course not, he kissed better than anyone I had ever kissed. We stayed for a little while, I let him drive me home, another kiss, I told him to take my car, my prized possession, he said he would come out around noon and we could think of something to do.

Sandy called and woke me up Sunday morning, she wanted to know how things went. While we were talking she told me Wayne wanted to meet me because he had tickets to the Thanksgiving dance and needed a date. My heart sank, he did seem to like me, we had a good time and he kissed me goodnight, I let him take my car home, at this time I wish I had not. Was it over before it began, I was hurt, and really did not understand why, I had just dated him once, should I tell him it was over, my heart was saying not yet. Noon arrived and so did Wayne, I had decided to tell him what Sandy had said and let him do the talking.

I was in for an even bigger shock, he was at the tail end of a divorce, whoa, did I want to get involved with this, it was new to me. He explained Joleen had taken the kids back to her home state, Oklahoma, for a vacation, she sent him a letter and wanted a divorce. The reason she did not say that is why she was going home, she knew he would have stopped her, Wayne said the marriage had been over for ar least a year. They married while he was in the Navy, both young, especially her, she was only 16 years old. The children at this time were Tonda, 3years, Terry, 14 months, so young to be seperated from their dad. I told him I would have to think this over, I was hurt, I really had feelings for this guy. I took him home and we said goodbye, I cried all the way back home, not knowing what I would decide.

We Meet At Last #6

The years between 1953 and 1958, I pretty much did as I wanted to do, and mostly I was happy. I did have responsibility's of maintaining my apartments and my car. In 1954 I traded my old Ford for a 1953 Pontiac, this was such a nice car, light green, was automatic shift and no dents or scratches on it, and talk about a smooth ride. I dated off and on, never liked my dates, nothing personal, just was not interested in dating, liked to be on my own, this is a trait of mine, I am still like that, never minding if I do things by myself.

A couple things happened to me when I had my own apartments, I will start with the one mom and I shared. One morning after I was ready for work, I went out to my car, I started it up and let it warm, I thought I would check and see if I had water in the radiator, forgetting that the fan belt was running. If a car had not honked its horn at me, that made me wake up, I said to myself, my gosh if I would of stuck my hand in to check the water, with the fan belt going I would probably lost my hand, or at least cut off some fingers. I was shaking so bad, I could hardly drive to work. The other thing is, I moved out of this apartment when mom moved in with Leon to a one room down town, I had no parking, so they let me park between the road and sidewalk. I came home one night, a man pulled in behind me and bumped my car. I was so scared, I pulled out and went as fast as I could up and down streets. When I had lost him I quickly went back and parked, I ran fast for the door, but the lady downstairs kept it locked, she had a window on the porch, I knocked on it, all the time looking over my shoulder. She let me in the entrance hallway and locked as soon as I was in, I ran up stairs and looked out my windows for hours. This never happened again, I soon after moved in with mom.

I moved in with mom in the spring of 1958, it was different from when she lived with me, she was still drinking but I had a car and would go out after I ate and stay until bedtime. My cousin, Bill was married to my husbands sister at this time, and could not stand it because I was single, he called me an old maid, and in my time you were, if not married by 25 years old. Bills wife Sandy called me at work four or five times a day, remember I was switchboard operator and answered the phones and at that time no way to know who was calling. I finally agreed to meet her brother Friday night, before I went bowling, I told her to come out to Ruths, they knew where she lived.

I was very nervous and not ready to start dating again, I had just broke up with a man that wanted to get married, he was very nice, he became president of his company, what was I thinking. Friday night came, I told Ruth I was expecting someone and would she please get the door. It turned out Wayne did not want to get out of the car, he was too nervous and felt sick at his tummy. I peeked out the window and Bill motioned for me to come out, I put my jacket on and went out to the car and climbed into the back seat. I was introduced by his sister Sandy, they told me to call him Wayne, his first name was Charles, but he did not like the name, he looked really embarrassed when she told me all this. We said Hi and before I knew it, I was asking them to come watch our team bowl, I usually never warmed up to men that quickly. Sandy spoke first and said they would be glad to come along and I was thinking to myself, wait until I get you two alone, grrr.

Still Alive #5

The apartment I shared with my mom was one bedroom, front room, kitchen, we had to share a bathroom in the hallway, was not happy about that, but at least the people across the hall were very clean, We lived upstairs, the landlady had the first floor, she was in her sixty's and was a kind and caring person, I will never forget her, when she smiled at you, you could not help but smile back, she only had two upper teeth and not well taken care of.

It is not easy living with a person that drinks a lot, when I came home from work I never knew if she was going to be sober, most of the times she was. Mom got a job washing dishes in a dinner, she worked until midnight. One night I went to pick her up and she was not there, I ask and they said she left when her shift was over. I looked in every bar in town, no mom, so I went home, not knowing what was going on, she came home around three a.m., drunk and falling up the stairs, I thought the landlady would come out and tell us to leave. The next morning mom said her boss had offered to drive her home and he wanted to stop by his home first, they got to drinking and the next thing she knew it was around three a,m..

Mom went to another job, it was right across from my work, it was dish washing also. At this time mom met Leon at a bar and they started to date, and she started to miss work, her boss knew I worked across the street and would call and ask if I knew were she was, I told him probably at her new boyfriends. Mom started to stay with Leon, who by the way was a very nice man and never married. He owned his home, had a car and had a nice job, which he was at until he passed away. I guess my mom felt secure for the first time since dad died, She married Leon in 1956, it had been a year since she came to Michigan.

I moved again to a one room apartment and again I had to share a bathroom in the hallway, she also was very clean, too clean, so I made sure I left the bathroom as I found it. I was going out to my friend from work a lot, her name was Ruth, I adopted her from the first week I was working as my mom. She treated me like a daughter, Ruth had only one child, a son Bruce, at this time he was sixteen. I stayed every weekend with them, I helped her with her house work, her husband Stan was a sweet man, he delivered milk, door to door. I have to admit I did not have enough money to survive, she knew this, and always ask me to her home, even during the week. Ruth had formed a bowling team and I joined up with them, I never had so much fun in my life as I did with the team, it has been over fifty years and I still know their names, Muriel, Barb, Doris, Ruth, Arlene and myself. Ruth and Stan bought property on Lake Michigan and built their new home and four cottages to rent out, at this time. A few years after this Ruth developed breast cancer and had to have one removed and at this time her son was married. Ruth survived ten years, the cancer came back and she was not so lucky this time. She enjoyed living at the lake and the people she rented to, she had a great personality, her son and his wife gave her two grandkids to enjoy also, Bruce now runs the business, his dad passed away two years after Ruth. I now mention this great lady because she helped me in more ways than I could ever tell her. I loved her more than I did my own mom and I still miss her to this very second.

I could no longer afford my apartment, so, even though I hated to do it I ask my mom, the real one, if I could move in with them. Leon worked third shift, so I slept with mom and on weekends I slept on the couch. When my mom would drink I would go to Ruth's home and stay until bed time or stay the night. I met my husband October, 1958, my cousin Bill was married to his sister and wanted me to meet him. I was at Ruth's getting ready to go bowling when Bill came out with Wayne, his first name is Charles, but everyone calls him by his middle name, they all came bowling with me that night.