The Decision #8

I spent the next few days wondering what to do, my mom gave me lots of hugs, she told me she could not advise me what to do, she wanted to stay out of it. Even when I talked to my good friend Ruth, she said I would have to make up my mind and she said at this time he may still be very much in love with his wife. When I heard this I really did not have a clue of what to do, after all I just met the guy and we had two dates, a few kisses, I didn't know him at all. I just knew I was miserable, and I liked the way he hugged and kissed me, it made me feel warm and safe, not like any other date I had before this.

I knew I had to come to some decision, he was calling me all the time and so was his sister Sandy. I did ask her why she had not mention the divorce, she said Wayne wanted to be the one to tell me, Sandy also told me he was not in love with Jolene. She told me his wife was going out on him, she even brought her dates home and parked in the yard for him to see them. I have read and heard that love hurts and I sure was feeling it now.

I decided to talk to him about all this, even if I made a mistake I figured at this time in my life I probably could handle it, after all I survived my aunt. A person is sometimes their own worse enemy, thoughts go through your mind, you make up a situation you think is going to happen, at this point I did not know exactly what I was going to say to him, but I knew I wanted him in my life, no matter how long that would be. I called him up and we agreed to meet Friday night at seven, if this did not work out, I had all weekend to cry my eyes out.

I let him kiss and hug me, don't know why, just wanted to feel him close to me before I tried to make sense out of all this. I came right out and ask him if he was still in love with his wife, and he said no, but he did love his kids. He said she had hurt him down deep and the things she did against him and the children was unforgiving. I can't say what they were because this hurts even to this day, and when I read or see on TV the same things other mothers do to their kids, I think of Jolene. She took them home to her mom, this was 1958, and he never saw them until they got in touch with him in 1977. Too much time, heartaches trying to get them and the sheriff in her town actually wrote him a letter, Jolene asking him to, and told Wayne if he even tried to see the kids he would be thrown in jail. Laws back then granted her total custody of the kids, this broke Waynes heart, he loved those two children very much.

I felt so sorry for him, I just moved up to him and held him for quite a while. We decided to wait and see what might be, and take it one day at a time. Getting back to the dance, I did not know how to dance, he wanted me to come over to his house and he would try and teach me. This was hilarious, I have two left feet, we did decide on one dance step and stick to it, some how I learned a dance step. The dance was on Thanksgiving evening, the decorations were so pretty, we stayed until eleven, it was tiring because we danced all the dances, yes the same dance step. We drove to my house and talked and kissed for hours, we did not make love this night, we both wanted to but decided to wait a bit longer. I let him take my car home again and come tomorrow to go for a drive.